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Posts tagged ‘stupid human tricks’

So car people, while we were talking, because we were talking, though maybe you didn’t know it just yet. This thing you do. We need to talk about it.

Two-way intersections, you know what those are, right? There’s a road. And another road. And one road has a stop sign and the other road doesn’t. So you only stop on the road that has a stop sign. Seems pretty simple, right?

But it seems like maybe it isn’t. Because all the time I go to the stop sign and I wait, because you know, the red sign, it says stop, and I always do what I’m told.

But then, you come along. And you don’t have to stop, but you do it anyway. And you think oh, hey, I’m going to be all nice and stop even when I don’t have to so that girl on the bike can cross the street. But actually, it’s not nice and you’re totally doing it wrong.

Because you know, other cars. There are some. They’re on the road, too, just like you. And they’re on the other side of the street and they don’t have a stop sign like you don’t have a stop sign. So they aren’t thinking about stopping. They’re thinking about going. And if I go when they’re going? I’ll get run over.

So that thing you do where you’re thinking you’re doing a nice thing and trying to let me go across the road by stopping when you don’t have a stop sign? That thing really isn’t nice at all. Because I could ge run over. And I really don’t want that. 

So I went down to the coffee shop to meet a friend and we got to talking, as one does at a coffee shop. I have a PhD, and he’s getting a PhD. Recently my friend ran into a guy in the halls who had received notice from the government that he could not take out any more student loans. That’s it. Cut off. 

But then, I’m thinking, for reals? How much do you have to borrow to get cut off anyway? I can’t even.

People! Do not take out 100k in loans for a humanities PhD! Don’t do this! If you’re even thinking about doing this, call me. We’ll talk. I’ll use crayons.

We’ll talk about where PhD’s in the humanities lead. We’ll talk about what a PhD can and can not do for you. Spoiler! A PhD will not clean your cat box. A total let-down, right?

I’m stoked on my degree. I had fun – I use that term loosely – getting it. I went some entertaining places (Hello, Paris) and met some interesting people. But I would be a very, very freaked out unhappy person right now if I had borrowed $100,000 to do it.

I don’t drive much

Yesterday, there was surf. I pulled my wetsuits out of the closet, dragged my stick out from behind the door, and headed downstairs to my… car.

What is this thing? I put my stick on the roof and my stuff inside. I sat down and reaquainted myself with my four-wheeled contraption. Found the ignition. Win! It started. Yay! I put in the clutch, put it in reverse, and backed into the driveway. Then, in one of those mind-blank moments where something completely obvious turns out to be totally opaque, I forgot where to find first gear. Oh, first gear, why must you hide from me? I tried second. That didn’t work very well. I tried third, that worked even less well. Finally, about four blocks later, I found first, up on the top left, where it always is.

After that, I drove to the beach. Also, the surf was good. And I didn’t forget anything else.