today in mansplaining

I was sitting at the coffee shop, wearing my history doctor hat, burning through a fatty bio of JFK. Scribbling in the margins, turning pages, you know, the thing you do when you have to read a long thing and quickly. This bro across the table from me is like, looking at me funny and I’m like, brah, wut. Then he says, man, I don’t know how you can even read a book on paper. It’s like, so much better on an ipad. I mean, I like the feel of paper, but ipads are so great. And I’m like, brah, I give zero fucks about your ipad. I have 50 pages to go before I can get up and do something more fun, so maybe shutup? Also, I like books because I can spill on them and drop them and it doesn’t end up being a $2000 problem, like the part where I almost dropped a camera lens off the pier today. Into the ocean. Which would have been bad. But anyway. The bro. So then he says, the best part about reading on an ipad is that you can like highlight the words you don’t know and look them up. Right there! It’s so easy! Uh, bro, some of us don’t have to look up the words? Because we already know them? I promise, I did not laugh at him. But it was really really hard.