a thing

this is a thing you do. you want to go to the beach, but you wake up in the morning and it’s foggy. and you can’t go to the beach in the fog, because you’re not from arizona for fuck’s sake, and only people from arizona go to the beach in the fog.

so you go to the coffee shop and you’re not really awake but everyone you know is there and they want to talk so you do the best you can. but really, all you want to do is go to the beach already but it’s still foggy so you drink your coffee and laugh at everyone’s jokes even if they’re not that funny.

then finally the sun comes up so you go home and you get your bag and a towel and an extra towel to keep the board out of the sun because it’s very important that the board not get too much sun.

and then you’re on the way to the beach and you realize it’s windy and maybe you should go to the other beach. so you turn around and head to the other beach with the cliffs that block the wind. the water is warm and there’s little waves so it’s a pretty good day.

now it’s time to go. all the kids in the family who sat down right next to you, and why do they always sit so close, can’t they see there’s a whole beach, but they always do it every time. the kids are getting cranky and one of them’s starting to cry. and that’s when you hit escape, when the crying starts.

now you’re back home and the towels are hanging on the rail and the suits are dripping water on the neighbors downstairs, but they don’t really seem to mind. and you’re sitting on the couch right back where you started.