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So I still read the New York Times on paper. Which means I go outside to my doorstep in my pajamas each morning like a character out of a 1980s sit com, pick it up, take it inside, and unwrap it. A big fatty word burrito. And I still do this because flipping through the broadsheet pages, I just see things that I wouldn’t see on a screen. Like, I’d have to click the link? And maybe I’d think twice? And think, do I want to wait for that page to load? No, let’s go over here instead. Or, let’s just close tab and go do something else entirely. But no, you can’t close tab with actual pages. You just flip flip flip until something catches your eye. Today’s secret surprise in the pack was in the obits. I would so totally not read the obits online. Okay, maybe I would. But on paper? I definitely read the obits. So there was this story about a guy who used to broadcast baseball games on the radio based on telegraph updates. He never actually saw any of the games. And if the telegraph broke? Or, he didn’t really know what was happening? He just made shit up. Yes, this is why I still read the New York Times on paper. I learned about the guy who made shit up on the radio about baseball games he wasn’t actually watching.

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